Overwhelm


PEOPLE / Tuesday, June 12th, 2018

I wake up. I snooze. I snooze again. I am annoyed I have to leave my comfy, warm bed. My ‘to-do list’ is the first thing I think about when waking up and the last thing I thought about before going to sleep.

So much to do. So little time. I feel stressed.

As I’m preparing my breakfast, I realize I don’t have blueberries. I really felt like a smoothie with blueberries. Oh well, bananas will do for now. My mouth is dry and my head still hurts a bit: I shouldn’t have had that third glass of wine yesterday.

As I’m eating breakfast, I realize I have to leave for work in 15 minutes. I take a 5-minute shower and put on something comfy. No time to do my hair so a bun will do for today. I’ll grab my wallet, my phone, put on sunglasses to cover the bags under my eyes and leave my apartment.

On my way to work, I’m annoyed I didn’t do some morning yoga. Maybe tomorrow. Tomorrow I will start making better decisions.

But I didn’t.

It continued week after week, year after year. There was a constant overwhelm. It felt like I was stuck in a rollercoaster. The ride was fun at times, it gave me adrenaline and excitement I was looking for. However, at times it made me sick to my stomach. I so desperately wanted to leave the ride, but for some reason it felt like I had no control over that decision.

My body was the one that made that decision for me. I was 25 and had a burn-out. Giving myself time to get my priorities in order is probably the best thing that ever happened to me. It may sound cheesy (but I don’t care): I am thankful for everything I’ve learned since then. I’ve become a better person because of it and I’ve found a place of contentment and happiness which I’ve never felt before. Just remember this.

You are always in charge
You don’t need permission to make a change
You live your life for you, not for them
You can say no
You can are powerful
You are beautiful

Love + Peace + Dolphins,

M

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